Monday, December 1, 2014

Star Wars: The Force Awakens teaser trailer breakdown

Ah, Star Wars!
The green screen FX for this scene are extraordinary. Andy Serkis put on an unusual-looking motion-capture suit to do this, and he's really convincing in the role of The Following Preview Has Been Approved To Accompany This Feature By The Motion Picture Association Of America, Inc.

Nothing but Star Wars!
Here we see John Boyega on the toilet after a very bad order of fish and chips.

Gimme those Star Wars!
This is what came out of John Boyega's ass while he took that painful shit.

Don't let them end!
Ah, Star Wars!
Whoa, SWAT team, aren't you a little overdressed for the peaceful protest of the Ferguson verdict?

If they should bar wars...
Please let these Star Wars stay-ay!
Daisy Ridley rides off on what every teenage Star Wars fangirl will want for Christmas in 2015: a big-ass USB drive.

And hey! How about that nutty Star Wars bar?
Oscar Isaac took the part of a cat-loving folk singer in Inside Llewyn Davis even though he dislikes cats. He also took the part of a helmeted Rebel Alliance fighter pilot even though he dislikes helmets because they give him Albert Einstein hair.

Can you forget all those creatures in there?
Adam Driver presents the latest technology in cutting down trees.

And hey! Darth Vader in that black and evil mask...
Did he scare you as much as he scared me-e-e-e?
The puke-stained T-shirt of the cameraman who ralphed while filming this battle scene up in the sky is now going for $1,200 on eBay.

Judging from the new sequel's shorter title, unlike George Lucas, J.J. Abrams is sensitive to the arms and hands of theater marquee letter changers.
From a six-year nightmare of shitty dialogue, wooden acting, racial stereotypes and turgid storytelling.

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