That line about all Asians enjoying math is bullshit because not all of us enjoy it. I hate math because I've always sucked at it. I barely remember how to do algebra anymore--that's how much I adore math. I took my own difficulties with math and made that trait a part of the backstory of the heroine I created for Secret Identities: The Asian American Superhero Anthology. If us Filipinos were great at math, we wouldn't be making so many damn boneheaded decisions when it comes to money, business or real estate.
I may suck at math, but I'm good at TV math, as you can see from these December 3, 2010 tweets I'm reposting. I got bored on Twitter one morning and started talking in nothing but TV math equations.
Evangeline Lilly
+ @MeganSCDP =
that hot chick in the T-Mobile myTouch 4G commercials
11:07 AM Dec 3rd
Robotech
+ the '90s MTV animated series Downtown
+ (the Clerks franchise minus the bestiality) =
the much-missed Megas XLR
11:15 AM Dec 3rd
Voltron
+ Bring It On
+ (The Powers of Matthew Star minus the sight of Louis Gossett Jr. slumming it) =
Sym-Bionic Titan
11:18 AM Dec 3rd
(28 Days Later minus fast zombies) + slow zombies + all the bickering scenes from Lost = AMC's adaptation of The Walking Dead
11:08 AM Dec 3rd
Early '90s-era Usher + the baritone of a teenage Wayne Newton + awful songwriting + Linda Evangelista's hair = Justin Bieber
11:09 AM Dec 3rd
Kelly Brook boobage + MTV Spring Break coverage reimagined by a Gorezone reader + (Jerry O'Connell minus his dick) = Piranha 3D #FilmMath
11:11 AM Dec 3rd
(The live-action Scooby-Doo minus the Scooby cast) + the Yogi cast + Hanna or Barbera spinning in his grave = that Yogi Bear movie #FilmMath
11:13 AM Dec 3rd
(Northern Exposure minus almost all the Indians) + the intellect of a bag of hammers + a train wreck = Sarah Palin's Alaska on TLC
11:20 AM Dec 3rd
Showing posts with label Evangeline Lilly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Evangeline Lilly. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Lost, "The End": "I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape"
As someone who's watched every single episode of Lost since the still-amazing pilot and recapped the series' entire fourth season for another blog (and never got paid for writing those recaps--as Chris Rock would say, what kind of gangster shit is that?), I'm still processing the events of Lost's lukewarmly received and sometimes frustrating series finale. I wasn't expecting the finale to answer every remaining question about the series' mysterious goings-on. How could it do so in one episode, even with an extra half-hour? I just wanted a finale that gave proper farewells to the characters and brought the goods action-wise like those eps when Sayid busted out his badass breakdance fighting moves, and "The End" delivered in the character and action sequence departments. But was all that time spent in the sideways universe during the final season worth it? I don't think I'm completely satisfied with the reasoning for the sidewaysverse. That whole business with the giant cork didn't make much sense either. Bullet time:
-My favorite recurring Lost theme was the conflict between a man of science (Jack) and a man of faith (Locke). The final season resolved that conflict beautifully, with Jack finally accepting Locke's beliefs in the specialness of the island and dying the way he wanted to (which was seeing his remaining friends leave the island safely) in a pitch-perfect final image that referenced the pilot's first moment and showed how much of an influence the Watchmen comic had on Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof.
-I'm glad Ken Leung's Miles, the character who provided the above one-liner about duct tape, lived to see another day. Bloggers like angry asian man and DISGRASIAN were disappointed that their favorite pair of Lost characters, the supercouple of Jin and Sun, was offed in "The Candidate" (some have even cried racism over the demises of the Kwons and Sayid), but I think the death of Miles, the show's sole Asian American regular and one of the few APA guys in prime-time who's neither a martial arts expert nor a coonin' buffoon, would have been a bigger letdown. (Speaking of Asian stuff, spoken-word artist Bao Phi wrote a nice post earlier this season about Lost's huge Asian American following.)
-I was also jazzed to see Miles' fellow freightie Lapidus alive after the submarine debacle in "The Candidate" because Jeff Fahey, who was underused on Lost but served as great comic relief whenever he did get screen time, is a master at making something out of nothing, ever since his laconic turn as the eccentric title hero of ABC's short-lived '90s procedural The Marshal. One of the reasons why the Star Wars prequel trilogy was an epic fail was because it lacked a Han Solo-esque figure who would wittily comment on the mystical goings-on and serve as a relatable audience surrogate. I like to think the Lost creators took notice of that flaw in the prequels, so they gave us not just one Han Solo-esque foil, but four: Sawyer, Miles, Lapidus and the not-as-cynical-or-snarky Hurley.
-The sci-fi geek in me who enjoyed all the time-travel material during my favorite Lost seasons, four and five, was disappointed that neither the nuke in "The Incident" nor the island's funky science was the reason for the sidewaysverse. The afterlife angle pretty much shot down my theory that Desmond or some other character with extraordinary powers created the sidewaysverse to hide his friends in there from the homicidal Smokey. On a superficial note, Sidewaysverse Kate looked slammin' in that black miniskirt.
-So Hurley and Ben are basically Mr. Rourke and Tattoo now? I bet the new island protector begins each morning by greeting everyone else with "Smiles, everydude, smiles!"
-Since when is Shannon the love of Sayid's life? I thought he was into Nadia. Whatever, man. I'm sure the Sayid and Shannon shippers got their panties wet that night. God, I hate that term "shippers." Other terms I hate are "squee" and "bromance." All those terms should be taken out back and shot and given a burial like the one Rick Rubin gave to the word "def" when he removed "Def" from the name of his label American Records.
-Yes! Lt. Van Buren is cancer-free! Woops, wrong series finale.
-My favorite recurring Lost theme was the conflict between a man of science (Jack) and a man of faith (Locke). The final season resolved that conflict beautifully, with Jack finally accepting Locke's beliefs in the specialness of the island and dying the way he wanted to (which was seeing his remaining friends leave the island safely) in a pitch-perfect final image that referenced the pilot's first moment and showed how much of an influence the Watchmen comic had on Lost co-creator Damon Lindelof.
-I'm glad Ken Leung's Miles, the character who provided the above one-liner about duct tape, lived to see another day. Bloggers like angry asian man and DISGRASIAN were disappointed that their favorite pair of Lost characters, the supercouple of Jin and Sun, was offed in "The Candidate" (some have even cried racism over the demises of the Kwons and Sayid), but I think the death of Miles, the show's sole Asian American regular and one of the few APA guys in prime-time who's neither a martial arts expert nor a coonin' buffoon, would have been a bigger letdown. (Speaking of Asian stuff, spoken-word artist Bao Phi wrote a nice post earlier this season about Lost's huge Asian American following.)
-I was also jazzed to see Miles' fellow freightie Lapidus alive after the submarine debacle in "The Candidate" because Jeff Fahey, who was underused on Lost but served as great comic relief whenever he did get screen time, is a master at making something out of nothing, ever since his laconic turn as the eccentric title hero of ABC's short-lived '90s procedural The Marshal. One of the reasons why the Star Wars prequel trilogy was an epic fail was because it lacked a Han Solo-esque figure who would wittily comment on the mystical goings-on and serve as a relatable audience surrogate. I like to think the Lost creators took notice of that flaw in the prequels, so they gave us not just one Han Solo-esque foil, but four: Sawyer, Miles, Lapidus and the not-as-cynical-or-snarky Hurley.
-The sci-fi geek in me who enjoyed all the time-travel material during my favorite Lost seasons, four and five, was disappointed that neither the nuke in "The Incident" nor the island's funky science was the reason for the sidewaysverse. The afterlife angle pretty much shot down my theory that Desmond or some other character with extraordinary powers created the sidewaysverse to hide his friends in there from the homicidal Smokey. On a superficial note, Sidewaysverse Kate looked slammin' in that black miniskirt.
-So Hurley and Ben are basically Mr. Rourke and Tattoo now? I bet the new island protector begins each morning by greeting everyone else with "Smiles, everydude, smiles!"
-Since when is Shannon the love of Sayid's life? I thought he was into Nadia. Whatever, man. I'm sure the Sayid and Shannon shippers got their panties wet that night. God, I hate that term "shippers." Other terms I hate are "squee" and "bromance." All those terms should be taken out back and shot and given a burial like the one Rick Rubin gave to the word "def" when he removed "Def" from the name of his label American Records.
-Yes! Lt. Van Buren is cancer-free! Woops, wrong series finale.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Mike Reddy's DVD Series

While Googling for The Megalomaniacal Spider-Man the other day, I stumbled upon this artist's site and his "DVD Series," a bunch of awesome illustrations of Lost season 3, Purple Rain, Casino Royale, Idiocracy, Planet Terror and Reno 911!, to name a few.
The brilliant artist's name is Mike Reddy. Keep an eye on this guy's work. He's also done album artwork for the Fiery Furnaces.
I want his portraits of Lost and Planet Terror to adorn one of the walls in my new condo. Right now, the bare walls and minimal furniture make my crib look like De Niro's house in Heat--but without Dante Spinotti's knack for making an empty living space look cool.

It's doubtful we'll ever see Evangeline Lilly's buns on Lost, but thanks to Mike Reddy, we get to see them now. Sort of.

"You have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka."

Casino Royale

Children of Men

The Departed

"It's got electrolytes!"

Reno 911!
Labels:
007,
Casino Royale,
Children of Men,
Elizabeth Mitchell,
Evangeline Lilly,
graphic design,
Idiocracy,
Josh Holloway,
Lost,
Matthew Fox,
Michael Emerson,
Mike Reddy,
Planet Terror,
Purple Rain
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