AFOS: "Kids Come Running for the Rich Taste of Samples" playlist

Airing tomorrow at 10am and 3pm Pacific on the Fistful of Soundtracks channel is the Fistful of Soundtracks: The Series episode "Kids Come Running for the Rich Taste of Samples" (WEB87) from February 26-March 4, 2007. The title is a play on the classic MST3K line "Kids come running for the rich taste of Sampo!" In WEB87, I played '70s--and at one particular point, '80s--themes that have been sampled by hip-hop artists and juxtaposed them with the songs that contain those film and TV music samples.

1. Johnny Pate, "Shaft in Africa (Addis)" (from Shaft in Africa), The Best of Shaft, Hip-O
2. Jay-Z, "Show Me What You Got," Kingdom Come, Roc-A-Fella
3. Curtis Mayfield, "Superfly," Superfly: Deluxe 25th Anniversary Edition, Curtom/Rhino
4. Beastie Boys, "Egg Man," Paul's Boutique, Capitol
5. Isaac Hayes, "Hung Up on My Baby" (from Three Tough Guys), Double Feature: Music from the Soundtracks of Three Tough Guys & Truck Turner, Stax
6. Geto Boys, "Mind Playing Tricks on Me," We Can't Be Stopped, Rap-A-Lot
7. Shirley Bassey, "Diamonds Are Forever (Main Title)," Diamonds Are Forever, EMI/Capitol
8. Kanye West featuring Jay-Z, "Diamonds from Sierra Leone (Remix)," Late Registration, Roc-A-Fella
9. Quincy Jones, "The Streetbeater (Sanford & Son Theme)," The Reel Quincy Jones, Hip-O
10. Masta Killa, Ol' Dirty Bastard and RZA, "Old Man," No Said Date, Nature Sounds
11. David Shire, "Main Title," The Taking of Pelham One Two Three, Retrograde
12. Mix Master Mike, "Suprize Packidge (Remix)," Suprize Packidge (The Automator Remix), Asphodel
13. Dennis Coffey, "Theme from Black Belt Jones," Do You Pick Your Feet in Poughkeepsie?, Paul Nice Productions
14. Lalo Schifrin, "The Human Fly," Enter the Dragon, Warner Home Video
15. Love Unlimited Orchestra, "Theme from Together Brothers," Funk on Film, Chronicles/PolyGram
16. Stu Phillips, "Knight Rider," NBC: A Soundtrack of Must See TV, TVT

The illest Knight Rider theme cover ever

Like According to Jim, Knight Rider is a show that just won't die. It's been revived five times: three times in TV-movie form and twice as a weekly series. Not even the presence of the hot Smith Cho from Ping Pong Playa could get me to watch the latest attempt to revive Knight Rider, which everyone agrees was an epic fail.

Knight Rider is an example of Not-So-Great Show, Killer Theme, even though the banter between the Hoff and his lover sidekick KITT made it more enjoyable than most old Glen A. Larson shows. Like on all other Larson shows, the theme was co-written by Larson, who used to sing in the '50s and '60s with an SCTV Five Neat Guys-ish group called the Four Preps, and his regular composer Stu Phillips.

Beatmakers and beatboxers can't get enough of the Knight Rider theme, as evidenced by the year when Busta Rhymes and Timbaland & Magoo both dropped remixes that sampled the theme, as well as Panjabi MC's "Mundian to Bach Ke (Beware of the Boys)" and this sweet little recent cover by Nathan "Flutebox" Lee, whom I first caught on Current TV earlier today (Googling him led me to his Knight Rider theme cover).

The five worst things in recent annoying commercials that don't involve Carlos Mencia or Salesgenie pandas

5. The fugly '70s swinger couple in the jacuzzi during Jack in the Box's "Jack Sandwich" ad

I love hamburgers. So why the hell do Carl's Jr. and Jack in the Box always come up with ads that make me lose my appetite? Besides E. coli, the last thing I want to think about when I'm biting into a Jack Sandwich is chest hair.

4. freecreditreport.com acoustic guitarist guy

One of the reasons why I worked hard to graduate from UC Santa Cruz was so that I don't have to hear downtown Santa Cruz street musicians sing anymore. Thanks, poor man's Andy Samberg, for reminding me of one of the many things I had to put up with during my university days.

3. The Collins College guys who yammer about game designing as if they're about to pants their cream

G4 is still running this dumb ad, even after X-Play ridiculed it? Mannered actor D-bag on our left looks like a really, really poor man's Pat Riley.

2. That horrible-sounding score cue during the Lean Pockets little-girl-atop-Dad's-shoulders ad that sounds like a Knight Rider version of Roger and the Gypsies' "Pass the Hatchet"

The cheesiest part of Knight Rider wasn't David Hasselhoff's overly leathery wardrobe. It was those godawful covers of '80s pop songs on the soundtrack (the Knight Rider producers couldn't afford to use the original versions, so they hired session musicians to re-record the tunes). That's what the music in that Lean Pockets ad sounds like--a Knight Rider-ified mangling of "Pass the Hatchet." I have to mute my TV every time that damn ad airs. Jim Gaffigan can't seem to decide what bugs him the most about Pockets: the taste, the concept of filling a Pop Tart with rancid meat or the ad music. For me, it's the crappy music.

1. Manorexic poor man's Jim Caviezel, who steps out of the shower and douchily nods his head to a Rhapsody playlist of Sara Bareilles songs. You want to yank his towel and rat-tail that smug look off his face.

I'll let some of the more coherent YouTube commenters have the floor:

"guy on commercial: big head, tiny arms, not sexy"

"i hate that guy so much and i dont really no why"

"its cuz he's ugly :] u dont have to thank me for clearing that up for you"