Friday, January 30, 2015

Thanks to AFOS shuffle mode, I wonder what a Batman sandwich or a Star Trek sandwich would taste like

These arrows are probably looking for an antidote to the Mirakuru.
Even though it can occasionally be a hassle to try to keep track of 17 hours and 28 minutes of music, which is the average amount of music I calculated from the current total track lengths of the eight different playlists I keep in rotation for the "AFOS Prime" block (plus the extra hours of music that make up the five other blocks on the AFOS station schedule), running AFOS is a pretty simple task. I just hit "Shuffle" and does the rest.

Often, weird things I have no control over take place during the shuffle mode I've set for AFOS, which is how I've regularly referred to the station since 2007. It's AFOS. No bloody FOS or FFOS. It's always been AFOS. I've always wanted to shorten the station name to just AFOS because the acronym evokes the four-call-letter names of the terrestrial radio stations I grew up listening to: KFRC, KMEL and so on. But instead of a K as the first letter, it's an A. Also, the acronym can stand for many different phrases besides A Fistful of Soundtracks, and I once jotted down a list of 12 of them. Examples include "Ample Focus on Scores," "All Fantastic Original Scores" and my personal favorite, "Asians Fucking Owning Shit."

Anyway, shuffle mode causes all these fantastic original scores to form either unintentional sets of two or three tracks by the same composer or "sandwiches," which is how I refer to cases where two tracks written by the same composer or emanating from the same movie or TV franchise appear to be sandwiching a completely unrelated track in the "last played" section of the AFOS Live365 site. I often take screen shots of these accidental sets or sandwiches.

'Bad Dog No Biscuits' sounds like something Humpty Hump would say to himself repeatedly after going to sex addiction rehab.
Star Trek sandwiches happen frequently on AFOS. Mmm, Star Trek sandwich. I wonder how a Star Trek sandwich would taste. Maybe it would be like Chief O'Brien's "Altair sandwich" with no mustard from Deep Space Nine. Some Star Trek head who can't spell has defined an Altair sandwich as "three kinds of meet [sic], two cheeses, and any number of other additions." Whattup, future Super Bowl Sunday dish.

Speaking of newly expanded editions, the Starfleet uniforms in Wrath of Khan were completely redone in order to accomodate the newly expanded waistlines. Hey-oh!
Batman sandwiches also happen a lot on AFOS. I wonder what a Batman sandwich would taste like. I figure it would be like the Batman Diner Double Beef at McDonald's in Hong Kong.

This burger was actually created by Bill Finger, but Bob Kane took credit for it.
(Photo source: Geekologie)
Hold up. An egg in a burger?! I hate eggs if they're not scrambled, and even though it's scrambled in this case, eggs don't belong in burgers. I'll pass.

Like the Lord of the Rings movies, The World's End and Game of Thrones are both stories where it's a bunch of people walking.
Occasionally, there are spaghetti western sandwiches on "AFOS Prime." Is there such a thing as a spaghetti western sandwich? Apparently, there is. Somebody blogged about a spaghetti western sandwich shop in Rome. Some of its sandwiches are named after characters from Terence Hill and Bud Spencer's Trinity movies.

I know better than to get between a cracker and their maionese.
(Photo source: Afar)

Here are more screen shots of shuffle mode weirdness I previously collected in 2011, joined by some new and never-before-posted screen shots of more weird music sandwiches and combinations.

Wolverine gets his claws done at the same nail salon where that girl from SWV gets her nails did.
There have been unintentional time travel movie theme double shots.

I'm not Jewish, but I'm all for seeing someone make another Hanukkah movie like The Hebrew Hammer and not so much like Adam Sandler's Eight Crazy Nights.
Mel Gibson, who's so famously fond of Jews, gets followed by a Jew.

Jordan from The Bernie Mac Show apparently sabotaged the playlist that day.
Yeah, I like "Eye of the Tiger" too, Live365, but I don't like it as much as you do apparently.

Where the Wild Things Are had a deleted scene where two of the island beasts have a three-way with Matt Dillon.
Same thing with the movie Wild Things...

Heh-heh, Asgard.
... or the end credits music from the first Thor flick.

If Coffy and Foxy Brown had to fight each other, who would win? Everybody would win. It'd be one of the sexiest-looking fights ever.
There have been unintentional Pam Grier movie theme double shots.

Killing off Jim Kelly in the middle of Enter the Dragon was kind of a mistake because he had the movie's most memorable lines. He could have easily defeated the metal-handed Han by whupping out a giant magnet or something.
Jim Kelly movie theme double shots.

 In Justin Lin's Finishing the Game, star Roger Fan slathers so much suntan oil all over his chest that he looks like a shiny Asian Ken doll.
Themes from movies about Bruce Lee movies getting streamed in the same hour.

I like how Ronald D. Moore refused to give Commander Adama a Star Trek-style chair inside the CIC on Galactica because sitting on your ass in front of a TV screen is for the weak! Here. On the street. In competition. A man confronts you...
Battlestar Galactica/Star Trek double shots.

You gotta love a movie that names its villain after film critic Andrew Sarris.
Galaxy Quest/Star Trek double shots.

The Battlestar Galactica series finale was disappointing because it didn't bother to address if Bob Dylan was a Cylon or not.
Trek/Galactica/Galaxy Quest triple shots.

I once heard a female British radio DJ hilariously mispronounce Michael Giacchino's last name as 'gee-uh-chee-no.' 'G, a Chino!' is something a cholo says to another cholo when he spots some poor middle-aged Vietnamese woman that he wants to carjack or mug.
J.J. Abrams/Michael Giacchino collabo triple shots.

Hans Zimmer and Johnny Marr's cover of that Boy George song 'Time (Clock of the Heart)' was the best part of the Inception soundtrack.
Christopher Nolan/Hans Zimmer collabo double shots.

Michael Giacchino comes up with the most amusing names for his end credits cues, although I would have titled it 'Up Your End Credits' to piss off Disney.
End credits music quadruple shots.

All that's missing is music from Run, Ronnie, Run. On second thought, maybe acknowledging that movie's existence isn't a good idea.
"Movies with Run in the title" double shots.

During The Long Goodbye, Arnold Schwarzenegger shows up looking very dignified and California governor-like in a goofy pornstache.
"Unexpectedly gory L.A. movies" double shots.

Space Dandy is basically 'What if the greaser from the Schoolhouse Rock gravity doo-wop musical number had his own spaceship and a TV show?'
Shinichiro Watanabe sandwiches.

With his rolled-up blazer sleeves, Spike Spiegel may be the only bounty hunter on TV and film who dresses like a shitty '80s stand-up comic.
Live365 once caused a weird pattern in which a theme from a Spike Lee Joint ended up getting followed by a Cowboy Bebop track--twice in a row. I hope someone on Deviantart was listening to AFOS during that hour and thought about drawing a Spike Lee/Spike Spiegel mash-up someday. Make it happen, Internet.

If Henry V weren't a work by Shakespeare, it could easily be mistaken for a gangster movie about some guido named Henry Vee.
Wilfred the Matt Damon-loving dog must have tried to sabotage Live365 during this hour.

Tisha Campbell's agent sabotaged the playlist that day.
Tisha Campbell-Martin movie musical number double shots.

The actual title of the movie is Furious 6, not Fast and Furious 6, which makes it sound like a buddy movie starring Vin Diesel as Fast and Dwayne Johnson as Furious 6.
Justin Lin sandwiches.

FX's handling of Terriers is to us Terriers fans what Bill Buckner letting the ball slip through his legs is to Red Sox fans.
Private eye sandwiches.

Quantum of Hollis is what they should call the Run-DMC biopic.
Two 007 sandwiches have taken place within the same hour. This and the next two screen shots are taken from "AFOS Incognito," the new espionage genre music block at midnight on AFOS. The block's got theme tunes from older spy shows, score cues from espionage thrillers ranging from The Tailor of Panama to The Imitation Game and original music from newer spy shows like The Americans. I'm so far behind on watching The Americans--I've seen only the pilot--that I had no idea Pete Townshend wrote an original song with Americans composer Nathan Barr for the show last season. That song from The Americans is part of the "AFOS Incognito" playlist.

The Walker Brothers also did a little Texas rangering in their spare time.
Hey, it's a Miguel Sandoval project theme sandwich. Sandoval, who's best known as Archie the punk in Repo Man and the boss on Medium, appeared in Clear and Present Danger and guest-starred a few times on Alias.

In Haywire, Gina Carano kills Ewan McGregor for walking around with such a hideous-looking haircut.
Michael Fassbender spy movie theme double shots are a frequent possibility on "AFOS Incognito." Sorry, ladies who have watched Shame 52 times, but he doesn't whip out his little Fassbender in either of these spy movies.

No comments:

Post a Comment