Friday, June 6, 2014

Tip-Top Quotables: "George R.R. Martin would make a terrible pet sitter," plus a few other great lines this week

She murdered a dalmatian to make that fur vest.
My favorite monthly section in old Source magazine issues was "Hip-Hop Quotables," in which the Source editors printed out their favorite new rap verse (or two) of the month, from the first bar to the last bar. "Tip-Top Quotables," which I've named after that Source section, will be a collection of my favorite quotes of the week from anywhere, and maybe one or two of them will be an excerpt from a new hip-hop track, a tiny way to tie things back to "Hip-Hop Quotables."

It won't be a regular thing. But once in a while, I have to keep this blog from looking stale, and using Blogger/Blogspot like it's Twitter or Tumblr won't do the trick because Blogger is neither Twitter nor Tumblr, and I think it looks lame when people use Blogger only for what Twitter or Tumblr are better suited for. Blogger is best suited for long-form content. The other two platforms? Uh, not so much. And a lot of morons on Blogger waste this platform to post either only one sentence, a single image with barely any text beside it or a single video, all things that are better suited for Twitter or Tumblr, which, by the way, is the most frustrating platform to use for composing long-form content. If you want to code something on Tumblr, shoot yourself in the head.

Take it away, Mona Lisa, a.k.a. Liz B.

* "The worst job I ever had was working at American Apparel. It was so gross. I worked at one of the first ones they had in New York in 2005 and it was when people still thought American Apparel was a cool place that cared about sweatshop-free labor. I started to work there because they gave health insurance to their full-time employees, but I didn't get it because I didn't work there for long enough. The owner, Dov [Charney], would come in there and sexually harass everybody and then also give us really long, weird speeches about how everyone thinks he's a hero because he's doing sweatshop-free labor, but, in fact, he's only paying these people a few cents more, but they're doing it in L.A. So I was like 'this is hell, this is so gross.' I really didn't like it there. And I would just sit there and listen to this asshole talk and then he'd say, 'Hey! Let me see you in that gold bikini!' and I'd be like, 'No. No, thank you.'"--Jenny Slate, A.V. Club

* "I'm the Cincinnati's 'Kast in the Cadillac/Midwest trunk funk splashed with some battle rap/Colgate trumped-up chumps don't know how to act/Sold on selling out music in McDonald's ads"--Donwill, "Blow My Mind" by The Other Guys featuring Tanya Morgan



* "It's the worst use of scissors since my failed vasectomy."--Mike McLintock (Matt Walsh) giving his opinion on the veep's ugly new haircut, Veep, "Debate"

* "There are some loopholes. What we need to do is to find those loopholes and find out whether are they loopholes or are they legitimate holes?"--Secretary of Defense Maddox (Isiah Whitlock Jr.) getting nervous and spouting gibberish during the debate, Veep, "Debate"

* "If you can't stand the heat, buy asbestos panties."--Amy Brookheimer (Anna Chlumsky), Veep, "Debate"

* "Ten people died in the Bronx last night, due to a fire that killed 10 people in the Bronx last night during a fire."--Anchorwoman (Jackie Tranchida), Louie, "Elevator (Part 6)"

Author Daniel José Older, reacting to Game of Thrones' latest character death (Photo source: Older)
(Photo source: Kumail Nanjiani)
(Photo source: Nanjiani)
(Photo source: Daniel Radosh of The Daily Show)

* "Both movies, Daniel? What are you smoking over there, and can I have some?"--Edge of Tomorrow and Let's Be Cops composer Christophe Beck, responding to a question Film Music magazine's Daniel Schweiger asked him about how to make audiences invested in the characters in "both these movies" (thanks, Christophe Beck, for putting in our heads the amusing visual of Daniel Schweiger, who actually sounds like Eddie Deezen, getting lifted)

Beck also worked on Buffy the Vampire Slayer during what I thought were the show's best seasons (two through four). His "Suite from 'Hush'" is currently part of "AFOS Prime" and "Hall H" rotation on AFOS.


An underground avant-garde film called Frozen has become Beck's most popular project to date. None of the music from Frozen is currently part of "AFOS Prime" rotation. Yes, Beck, Idina Menzel and Kristen Bell were great during Frozen, and I'm glad that a Pinoy musician sonned the competition in the Best Original Song Oscar category (Robert Lopez and his wife Kristen Anderson-Lopez shared the Oscar for writing "Let It Go"), but I don't care for show tune music.


(Photo source: Jenny Johnson)
Speaking of the NBA... (Photo source: Desus)

Yuri Kochiyama in 1968
* "The iconic image of Yuri speaking with ferocity at a 1968 anti-war demonstration is branded into my brain, and no doubt countless others--young and old, Asian American and non--who, like me, hope to manifest even a small part of her fearless life and vision. This image of Yuri is audacious, it is righteous, and it still quickens my blood every time I see it. It shows someone who does not look like what we've been conditioned to believe a hero can look like in America, but who was nevertheless propelled by the courage of conviction, who boldly lived her values, and who modeled what justice can look like when we build together."--Cynthia Brothers of Hyphen magazine, on the accomplishments of Asian American activist Yuri Kochiyama, who died on June 1

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